Wrote this down about a month ago, but never really found the courage to post it...
"It was a lonely Sunday afternoon. Nothing much happening & I was just lazing around unable to sleep. Tried watching a movie, but then decided not to. I ended up sitting on the couch and swapping channels on the tv, not particularly interested in what was being shown. To summarise, I was doing absolutely nothing & was with a BLANK mind. And then it hit me, all of a sudden.
It hit me like a speeding train & I was helpless. It was the feeling that I am going to die ALONE.
To tell the truth, I dont realise why this happened to me. May be I am out of my mind or something. But it did & it grew stronger every second. The transition of my mind from being completely blank to being occupied by this solitary thought was suffocating to say the least. A lot has been going on lately, this was probably a side effect of it.
I am not really this kind of a person. My friends tell me that I spread the humour around all the time. But very few have actually tried to understand the real person inside of me. One who is emotional and passionate. Is it a weakness? I dont really know that either, but that's how I am..and that's how I will remain.
We sometimes spend a portion of our life running after something passionately & then all of a sudden we realize that it was just a mirage. Something that didnt exist actually, but the false impression led to its pursuit. A fruitless pursuit in the end. But for me the real question is, was this pursuit worth it? Truthfully speaking, I really don't know right now. But I am still trying to figure out the answer.
Its hold on me was broken when my mom came in and asked if I wanted to have tea. But its still there, even though the effect has calmed down a bit. It is still eating away my brain slowly & gradually. And I cannot do a thing about it.
And today, whenever I've said " I am fine", the line from the movie "The Italian Job" has popped up in my mind, (Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional)
GOD help me..."
Now, about a month later, something has changed. Some part of me has died & will never return back. But I still believe that "Whatever happens, happens for the better" and this will keep me going. I am now looking at life differently and this is thanks to all the support that some people around me have provided. Its time to move ahead now, coz its not over yet...."ONE MORE ROUND"!!
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
The Almost Night Out & Moments of Nostalgia...
I Hate exams... I really do. My job requires me to give atleast a fixed number of certifications every year & the whole ordeal is a real pain in all the wrong places. I gave one of these today. It wasn't rocket science though. It dealt with the resellers, distributors & how they are playing a major role in shaping the discrete manufacturing supply chain in the ever evolving global environment.But its not the technology distributors that I want to talk about.
I reached home at midnight, after attending an office party. Struggling to keep awake, I started having a look at the presentation that was the key to pass the exam. "Hmm... I think I can cover this by 4:00 AM", I thought. Just 140 odd slides, plus I already had a look at them before & knew the context. Shouldn't have gone to the party though, would've given me some more time to get this over with. But then, in the fight between exams & chicken, who would be the chosen one? Naah... chicken wins..hands down!!
So,I get started. One slide after the other. But where did these dogs come from & why are they jumping in and around the pillars. Hey, wait a second...pillars, what pillars. Wake up boy...these are bar graphs. They are supposed to show the revenues generated as a result of blah blah blah. I decided to sit & turn to the WWW to keep me awake. The orkuts & facebooks of the world. Somehow I reach slide 40....huh 100 more. Okay...lets get some music going.
As the music got me started again, I couldn't help remember the final days of MBA. The last semester. The last minute glances at the pages that remained unseen for 4 months or so & the ones that would get us through the last hurdle remaining. Those late night meetings to decide what to read, what not to read, or whether to read anything altogether. The rush to get the notes before the test & the parties in "Chandaal gali" following them. Then, before I knew it, I was growing all nostalgic & browsing through some old photos, remembering some really great people & the times I've had with them. Times that changed my life forever. Times that were fun & hectic at the same time. Times that were full of life & unforgettable.We the "GHANTAS" sure had a great time together @ KGP. The bakar, sort of never ended. Now in the hectic rush of life, that spark has faded a bit. We had met each other a long time back & have never had a real get together for over a year now.But that sure doesn't take away the effect these precious people have had on my life.
I've had to go through some 'not so good' situations in my personal life in the last few months. But these memories have always brought a smile to my face even on the worst of days. And the feeling that these people will always be there when I need them is what keeps me going every single day!
I glanced at the clock & it was already 3:00 AM. Still had almost 80 more slides to go. I then started rushing through the slides & somehow got done by 5:00 AM (I am still bad at managing my time, but I sure am on the path of improvement). And Yes...I passed the test today ;)
P.S: To all the "GHANTAS"....Thank You for touching my life the way you did & giving me those delightful moments that would stay with me forever. "Babaji ki jai ho !!"
I reached home at midnight, after attending an office party. Struggling to keep awake, I started having a look at the presentation that was the key to pass the exam. "Hmm... I think I can cover this by 4:00 AM", I thought. Just 140 odd slides, plus I already had a look at them before & knew the context. Shouldn't have gone to the party though, would've given me some more time to get this over with. But then, in the fight between exams & chicken, who would be the chosen one? Naah... chicken wins..hands down!!
So,I get started. One slide after the other. But where did these dogs come from & why are they jumping in and around the pillars. Hey, wait a second...pillars, what pillars. Wake up boy...these are bar graphs. They are supposed to show the revenues generated as a result of blah blah blah. I decided to sit & turn to the WWW to keep me awake. The orkuts & facebooks of the world. Somehow I reach slide 40....huh 100 more. Okay...lets get some music going.
As the music got me started again, I couldn't help remember the final days of MBA. The last semester. The last minute glances at the pages that remained unseen for 4 months or so & the ones that would get us through the last hurdle remaining. Those late night meetings to decide what to read, what not to read, or whether to read anything altogether. The rush to get the notes before the test & the parties in "Chandaal gali" following them. Then, before I knew it, I was growing all nostalgic & browsing through some old photos, remembering some really great people & the times I've had with them. Times that changed my life forever. Times that were fun & hectic at the same time. Times that were full of life & unforgettable.We the "GHANTAS" sure had a great time together @ KGP. The bakar, sort of never ended. Now in the hectic rush of life, that spark has faded a bit. We had met each other a long time back & have never had a real get together for over a year now.But that sure doesn't take away the effect these precious people have had on my life.
I've had to go through some 'not so good' situations in my personal life in the last few months. But these memories have always brought a smile to my face even on the worst of days. And the feeling that these people will always be there when I need them is what keeps me going every single day!
I glanced at the clock & it was already 3:00 AM. Still had almost 80 more slides to go. I then started rushing through the slides & somehow got done by 5:00 AM (I am still bad at managing my time, but I sure am on the path of improvement). And Yes...I passed the test today ;)
P.S: To all the "GHANTAS"....Thank You for touching my life the way you did & giving me those delightful moments that would stay with me forever. "Babaji ki jai ho !!"
Sunday, July 19, 2009
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Genre: Action
Director: Gavin Hood
Cast: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston, Ryan Reynolds
Wolverine has always been my favorite character from among the X-Men. A dangerous fighting machine with raw animal instincts, indestructible in every sense with retracting claws of adamantium, the character truly is a treat for every action fan. Needless to say that when I heard about this movie, I simply couldn't wait to watch it. But was the wait worth it? I still can't decide....
Efficiently choreographed stunts, good camera work & an amazingly stylish performance by Hugh Jackman. There are some awesome action sequences in the movie that are unforgettable.
A decent watch for the weekend, it will get a BIG thumbs up for the action & style, but, a thumbs down for the overall cinematic experience. However, it certainly is better than the run-of-the-mill action they churn out nowadays!!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Weekend Blues !!
Aah!! Finally, after a long time, a weekend in which I don't have to work. But why am I still bored? I think I have gotten myself addicted to going to office. The feeling of having nothing to do is eating away my mind. I think I need some sort of therapy or something. I have somehow picked myself up to write these few lines....
Here's a list of things that I usually do on a weekend when I am not working:
1. Wake up @ Lunch time
2. Spend some quality time in the Gym.
3. Have Golgappas in the evening (With rainy season already in town, this activity will take a severe hit for sure)
4. Go shopping (The activity starts off aimlessly as just Window shopping. I move around without even the faintest idea of what I want to buy & end up buying something that I never thought I wanted, but still did!)
5. Lie on the couch swapping channels, not exactly sure what to watch. They all seem to be the same anyways.
6. Watch some quality, entertaining movies (And still cant coerce myself to writing some reviews).
See, thats a pretty exhaustive list. But, even With so much to do, I still feel bored. I seriously think I need a break, or maybe just a simple trip to rejuvenate my spirits. Though that doesnt seem to be coming any time soon !!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Movie Review: Ghajini (2008)
Genre: Drama, Action
Director: A.R .Murugadoss
Cast: Aamir Khan, Asin Thottumkal, Pradeep Rawat, Jiah Khan
It was the second most awaited film this year for me (the 1st slot had been taken by “The Dark Knight”) & it definitely was worth the wait. Based on the concept of Christopher Nolan’s masterpiece “Memento”, A.R. Murugadoss’s “GHAJINI” had all the ingredients to be a masala potboiler. Aamir khan, his most talked about 8 pack abs (you should see the no. of people flocking the gym nowadays) , Asin’s bollywood debut, remake of a superhit Tamil movie, the “Memento” link & all the hype surrounding it. These were reasons enough for people to be drawn to the theatres. No, I haven’t watched the Tamil version yet & I have watched “Memento” several times.
The movie follows the story of a telecom tycoon, Sanjay who falls in love with an aspiring model Kalpana. The depiction of their sweet love story is the hallmark of the movie. However, it wasn’t one with a happy ending, as Kalpana is killed & Sanjay is severely injured on the head. Sanjay develops a case of “Anterograde Amnesia”. He can remember things for only about 15 minutes. He sets off to find the man responsible for Kalpana’s death & the only clue he has is the last word Kalpana had whispered into his ears…. “Ghajini”. It’s a story of revenge, or should I say…RETRIBUTION.
Aamir sparkles yet again in both his avatars in the movie. He plays the gentleman tycoon with flair & does an even better job playing the killing machine who has only one thing on his mind…Revenge. You can almost feel his raw animal instincts taking over every time he fights. Asin plays the bubbly & sweet Kalpana with elan. She couldn’t have asked for a better debut & we certainly would want to see more of her. Pradeep Rawat plays Ghajini, the bad guy, & he doesn’t disappoint. Jiah Khan does a decent job in her second movie (I haven’t watched “Nishabd” & have no intentions of watching it in the future :P).
A.R.Rahman has given us some great music in 2008 & “Ghajini” is probably the best of the lot. He has experimented with the songs a lot & the results are amazing. The camera work is very good. I loved the visuals of the song “Hai Guzaarish”. It has been shot in a desert, probably to draw the analogy of Sanjay waiting for Kalpana’s response as the desert waits for rain. My favourite song however, is “Kaise Mujhe…” as it leaves a haunting feeling every time you hear it.
Overall, I found the movie very entertaining. Even though it was 3 hours long, it never felt slow or boring. Found some people complaining about the so-called “excessively gory” fight scenes in the movie. Well, the answer for them is: “People, the guy can remember things for only 15 minutes. So if he doesn’t get the bad guys knocked out in 15 minutes, he might forget that he was supposed to be hitting them in the first place. Hence the work outs and hence the fast paced & severe blows. Its simple logic…..Besides, if you think THIS is gory, puhhleeezz go & watch “Sin City” or the like”.
Yes, there are loopholes in the story, but even then, the movie definitely is good paisa vasool! Go & watch it…coz if u haven’t done that till now, u have committed a heinous crime against the institution that we call the Bollywood Masala!
P.S: I am a fan of good bollywood masala movies so it might seem a bit opinionated….but this is MY blog remember!!!
Director: A.R .Murugadoss
Cast: Aamir Khan, Asin Thottumkal, Pradeep Rawat, Jiah Khan
It was the second most awaited film this year for me (the 1st slot had been taken by “The Dark Knight”) & it definitely was worth the wait. Based on the concept of Christopher Nolan’s masterpiece “Memento”, A.R. Murugadoss’s “GHAJINI” had all the ingredients to be a masala potboiler. Aamir khan, his most talked about 8 pack abs (you should see the no. of people flocking the gym nowadays) , Asin’s bollywood debut, remake of a superhit Tamil movie, the “Memento” link & all the hype surrounding it. These were reasons enough for people to be drawn to the theatres. No, I haven’t watched the Tamil version yet & I have watched “Memento” several times.
The movie follows the story of a telecom tycoon, Sanjay who falls in love with an aspiring model Kalpana. The depiction of their sweet love story is the hallmark of the movie. However, it wasn’t one with a happy ending, as Kalpana is killed & Sanjay is severely injured on the head. Sanjay develops a case of “Anterograde Amnesia”. He can remember things for only about 15 minutes. He sets off to find the man responsible for Kalpana’s death & the only clue he has is the last word Kalpana had whispered into his ears…. “Ghajini”. It’s a story of revenge, or should I say…RETRIBUTION.
Aamir sparkles yet again in both his avatars in the movie. He plays the gentleman tycoon with flair & does an even better job playing the killing machine who has only one thing on his mind…Revenge. You can almost feel his raw animal instincts taking over every time he fights. Asin plays the bubbly & sweet Kalpana with elan. She couldn’t have asked for a better debut & we certainly would want to see more of her. Pradeep Rawat plays Ghajini, the bad guy, & he doesn’t disappoint. Jiah Khan does a decent job in her second movie (I haven’t watched “Nishabd” & have no intentions of watching it in the future :P).
A.R.Rahman has given us some great music in 2008 & “Ghajini” is probably the best of the lot. He has experimented with the songs a lot & the results are amazing. The camera work is very good. I loved the visuals of the song “Hai Guzaarish”. It has been shot in a desert, probably to draw the analogy of Sanjay waiting for Kalpana’s response as the desert waits for rain. My favourite song however, is “Kaise Mujhe…” as it leaves a haunting feeling every time you hear it.
Overall, I found the movie very entertaining. Even though it was 3 hours long, it never felt slow or boring. Found some people complaining about the so-called “excessively gory” fight scenes in the movie. Well, the answer for them is: “People, the guy can remember things for only 15 minutes. So if he doesn’t get the bad guys knocked out in 15 minutes, he might forget that he was supposed to be hitting them in the first place. Hence the work outs and hence the fast paced & severe blows. Its simple logic…..Besides, if you think THIS is gory, puhhleeezz go & watch “Sin City” or the like”.
Yes, there are loopholes in the story, but even then, the movie definitely is good paisa vasool! Go & watch it…coz if u haven’t done that till now, u have committed a heinous crime against the institution that we call the Bollywood Masala!
P.S: I am a fan of good bollywood masala movies so it might seem a bit opinionated….but this is MY blog remember!!!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Movie Review: Requiem for a dream (2000)
Genre: Drama
Director: Darren Aronofsky
Cast: Ellen Burstyn, Jared Leto, Jennifer Connelly and Marlon Wayans
This movie tells the story of several characters whose life enters a vicious circle because of their addiction problems. Everyone has some aspirations, but life is never simple. Some decisions can change your life forever. Amazing performances by all the actors makes this movie one of the best I’ve watched. Ellen Burstyn & Jennifer Connelly, in particular had very difficult roles to play, but they have managed to carry them out with aplomb. That does not in any way undermine Jared Leto’s performance, which was equally good. The use of hip hop montage & split screen makes the movie even more appealing, though I thought it was a bit too much at times. The background score is HAUNTING, to say the least, it gets you every time you hear it. Loneliness & isolation are the words that come to my mind when I listen to the soundtrack, which is apt, considering the theme of the movie. The movie left a bad taste in my mouth after I had watched it. The reason being the fact that I could relate to the characters & felt for them. None of them were larger than life in any sense. It was like something was happening to the people I know. The scenes with the refrigerator terrorizing Sara Goldfarb (Ellen Burstyn) were amazingly done. Cinematography is definitely one of the hallmarks of this movie. No wonder it has won so many awards & an Oscar nomination. Overall, it did not take me much time & effort to love the movie & the way it has been made.
Director: Darren Aronofsky
Cast: Ellen Burstyn, Jared Leto, Jennifer Connelly and Marlon Wayans
This movie tells the story of several characters whose life enters a vicious circle because of their addiction problems. Everyone has some aspirations, but life is never simple. Some decisions can change your life forever. Amazing performances by all the actors makes this movie one of the best I’ve watched. Ellen Burstyn & Jennifer Connelly, in particular had very difficult roles to play, but they have managed to carry them out with aplomb. That does not in any way undermine Jared Leto’s performance, which was equally good. The use of hip hop montage & split screen makes the movie even more appealing, though I thought it was a bit too much at times. The background score is HAUNTING, to say the least, it gets you every time you hear it. Loneliness & isolation are the words that come to my mind when I listen to the soundtrack, which is apt, considering the theme of the movie. The movie left a bad taste in my mouth after I had watched it. The reason being the fact that I could relate to the characters & felt for them. None of them were larger than life in any sense. It was like something was happening to the people I know. The scenes with the refrigerator terrorizing Sara Goldfarb (Ellen Burstyn) were amazingly done. Cinematography is definitely one of the hallmarks of this movie. No wonder it has won so many awards & an Oscar nomination. Overall, it did not take me much time & effort to love the movie & the way it has been made.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Movie review: Taxi Driver (1976)
Director: Martin Scorsese
Cast: Robert De Niro, Cybill Shepherd, Jodie Foster, Peter Boyle, Harvey Kietel
Another one of Scorsese’s best. For the first few minutes, I felt that the movie was a bit slow. I am not a great fan of slow paced movies, but boy, was I wrong. It tells the story of Travis Bickle (De Niro), 26, a mentally unstable Vietnam War veteran who works as a night time taxi driver. Travis is unable to sleep & he doesn’t know why. He is deeply affected by the sleazy night life in the city & the degrading society all around him.
“12 hours of work & I still cant sleep…DAMN…days go on & on . They don’t end..all my life needed was a sense of some place to go”.
He maintains a journal where he enters all his feelings & thoughts. He finds himself attracted to a political campaigner Betsy (Cybill Shepherd).
“I first saw her at Palantine campaign headquarters at 63rd in Broadway. She was wearing a white dress, she appeared like an angel…out of this filthy mess, she is alone…THEY CANNOT TOUCH HER”.
He tries to woo her, but fails to do so. Betsy doesn’t answer his calls after he takes her to a porn movie on their first date. Travis, who doesn’t understand this as he is “not fond of movies”, feels that she is like all the other women he has come across.
Travis feels that he needs to reinvent himself. He wants to do something that will give him an identity.
“You got a job & you become that job”
Travis buys four handguns & sets out to assassinate Senator Palantine, but he fails to do so & is chased away by the bodyguards.
Meanwhile, he forms a strong attachment with a child prostitute Iris (Jodie Foster), who he tries to rescue from a pimp Matthew (Harvey Kietel). His efforts to persuade Iris to go back to her parents & rejoin school turn out to be futile. Travis finally ends up killing Matthew & his gang. Iris goes back to her parents & slowly moves towards leading a life of normalcy. Meanwhile Betsy realizes that indeed has feelings for Travis, who is now famous because of his struggle with Matthew’s gang.
The soundtrack & camera work are absolutely in sync with the story & add to the fantastic performance dished out by De Niro. The movie eventually lost out at the Oscars in the Best Movie category to Sly Stallone’s “ROCKY”, but there is no questioning the fact that it’s another gem of a movie from a gem of a director. You cannot miss this if you are a De Niro fan.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
